Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
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I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
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If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize