Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
