I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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