I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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