Christians are straight up FREAKS
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
