I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
do herpes really smell.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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