I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
