so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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