This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I can't turn off my feet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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