God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
