I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i barfeds in our rink
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize