Duck Duck Cougar?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
