My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
