Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
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