he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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