I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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