He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
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