The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
