I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
