fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
