we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
