After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
