He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
