he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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