If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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