We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
My sheets look like a crime scene.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I feel like a drive thru vagina
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
