Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
