wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
