We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize