last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize