In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Rumble strips road head = magical
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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