I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
