I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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