My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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