This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i will never coherently bang her
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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