I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
My bed smells like the plague
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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