Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
you didnt know i had herpes?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
