Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
God gave him joint rollers for hands
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
There's even glitter on my cock...
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