I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon