So drunk its hurt
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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