I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.