Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!