oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Thank you for not boning my boss.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce