I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.