Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check