Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
