Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
