Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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