why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
