Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Randomize
