Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
