And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
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I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
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Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
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