no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
