I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
