Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize