I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
