I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
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