I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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