Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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