Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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