I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
