'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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