I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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