Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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