Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
